To be a lie

To be seen, is to be loved,
For only those who take their time
to truly paint our storms in blue.
to really scrutinize us through,
know how to love, 
know how to fly.

Those who hold you so warmly,
your cold body melts down
and all version of you, so lonely,
collapse like ashes, becoming one.

I fought for years
against injustice,
when did my fears
become so monstrous.

I promised you
I was a good child
but I was a misfit, 
and in a world so vile,
to be rare is a crime.

Call me Sam

There are monsters I can't fight
can I stay with you tonight?
mom, I'm scared, please hold me tight
don't leave me alone, don't turn off the light.

mom, I swear I'm innocent

but no one trusts the insolent

late at night I'm vigilant

for all the pain that's imminent

mom, what are you holding?
don't beat me, 

Why can't you see

I'm already hurting.

mom, stop crying, I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to speak my mind
I just want to tell my story
but I can shut and I can hide.

mom, I'm a good baby 
I did how you taught me
I built myself a living hell
which I can conceal so well

all those people think I'm nice
it's all going according to plan
soon they'll hate my face, my lies,
but I'm doing the best I can

mom, I'm a grown up at last
you can't hit me anymore
I do it myself, feel surpassed
Ground the rascal beat the whore.

They'll call me Sam
but that's not really who I am.

Teenage

In anger, 
I found her.
holding a vase,
a glass, a cup.
about to drop,
about to break.
Ran her own nails down her skin,
hold on tight to the ceramic.
Burning cholera within
the voice inside raging frantic.